2009-11-20T07:55:00.000-08:00

NOW @ SMASHBULBS! :D
I just changed my blog url! CYA THERE ;)

2009-11-20T07:09:00.001-08:00

BE RIGHT BACK!

Time Machine

2008-09-11T10:37:00.000-07:00

Gossips. badMOUTH. Insult. Accuse. BLAME. Talk. Hide. PRETEND. Work.

What's that seriously.

I understand that for EVER-REE-THING, there must be a balance.

So there must be:

Good and Bad. Pretty and Ugly. Smart and Stupid. Hardworking and Lazy.

Which is to say.. They're quiet people and NOISY PEOPLE.

Hi. I know after this post, everyone will start telling me how I'm bringing myself down again.

Then random people that claim to 'know me' would start commenting either secretly or slightly more openly.. (what I meant was - in anonymous form)

Actually that's not very important. Even without blogging, people have been looking at me with those accusing eyes that really hurts. I mean seriously, I can imagine people pointing fingers at me everywhere I go.

Okay fine a little too exaggerating.

Wtf is with BLOGhopping. I don't believe that by simply reading other peoples' blogs, You would totally know what the hell is going on in that person's life.

You read for entertainment or to kill boredom..... Not to dig into other peoples' life and then start spreading crap about them right? Yes no yes no? Okay maybe you carry an ulterior motive for reading so much you fucking busybody.

You fucking want to know everything. And there you got it, you fucking got to know everything!

Did I offend someone or something? Why do gossipers revolve around me ALL the fucking time. Betrayal. I never thought it would actually happen to me. HAH. What the fuck. How true right, secret DON'T FUCKING MAKE FRIENDS.

I know I'm very very VERY VERY VERY petty to bring up the past again but ..

It just upsets me to know that a best friend could actually do this to you. I rather the PIs shit be really real than to know that my trust was taken as a joke and toyed with.

You probably didn't mean it but .. I still cannot get over this fact.

You probably were very concerned then but, you shouldn't have done this. Maybe I might regret by this time if you hadn't block my path..

But it doesn't mean that you should act blur when I was crying my lungs out.

Sorry but this just came to my mind suddenly. Sorry for being such a fake telling the whole world that lie didn't really affect me. Obviously I know that my first love is a fucking lie but, I'm just too blind to get out of it.. In fact I didn't want to. And it crashed me even harder to know that my friend didn't side me. When I learnt the whole truth, my heart was like literally smashed into a million pieces. And its fucking embarrassing. Imagine your mom telling you "eh you claim you have the bestest friend on Earth but guess what, she was the one who gave you away..great friend indeed"

I totally went speechless. I didn't have to guts to defend cuz there was really nothing I could say. But does anything I say matter? No.

Maybe I should really get my harshest lesson then I wouldn't speak like that anymore. I know it's not worth it or anything, but I really miss those times.

Like totally imagining having probably the sweetest love calling you his sweetest love, showing you the sweetest care.

Good things come to an end, just didn't expect it to end so abruptly.. I rather he break my heart and end then to be betrayed by a friend. Shouldn't a friend stand by me and wish us all the best. At least back then. But no, I don't bear any grudges.. just had something to comment.

Well after all, best friends just want the best for you. And he is definitely not the best for me what. I know clearly, I'm too sentimental. I'm too impulsive. I don't know how to say 'no'. And I get in and out of relationships very fast.

But wait, I don't think I have a better choice.

People always see the surface of things. Hell yes, even other peoples' affairs.

I beg all gossipers to do their homework before spouting any nonsense.

If you guys want to mention anything about me being a heartbreaker or flirt or anything like that. I swear man, erase it please. WTF. Who the fuck is the heartbreaker man.. And who the fuck is actually flirting.

Ya am very self-centered NOW.

I'm not trying to act pitiful and get everyone's sympathy. I just dislike being accused of what I'm not. And definitely do not like being talked about.

I know.. It's just me... I really wish that I could just close my eyes and pretend that everyone that is talking are just blowing bubbles then I can simply poke them off. But I can't.

I don't deny missing him badly. He's the only guy I stayed truly faithful for. He's the only guy I would probably never forget. No matter how a jerk he is.

(No matter how he two-time or flirt) And no matter how much he wants every single bit of us to be erased. AND it doesn't matter to me whether my first love wasn't perfect. AND IT REALLY DOESN'T MATTER whether he was serious or not.

I never thought I would cry so hard for someone. What a joke. My tears don't matter much hah.

I mention too many guys in my blog. And this make people see me as something else again. I don't know how to clear this and don't intend to. Maybe it's good in a way. I won't have to hide anything, and I won't have this constant fear that my secrets are making friends everywhere. Yes so what. I like them all!

YES SO WHAT?! Please lor, Like is not even a strong word. I never say I love them and I wanna get married with them desperately. Come on I am only 16, I don't think you wanna tell you me you never had crushes for anyone before.

I probably love him only, in my whole life.. I'm confirm this line I just made when I get to know the real meaning for loving someone. But right now, to me.. that's love.

I'm not sure about my crushes. I'm not sure if it's really like or anything, but I can't control myself from being attracted to them.. And most importantly, I'm not doing anything against anything. I'm single, and so are they. Okay lol that's not important. I'm just enjoying talking to them that's all. WHAT'S SO WRONG ABOUT HAVING CONVERSATIONS. ......... I just feel comfortable talking to them, and I like getting this same feeling I once had. But definitely never thought about replacing.

I tried to move on, but he wasn't as good as he seem like he is. So. My fault again. Yes hearbreaker hi.

Guys and girls = cannot be friends. Girl = can like one guy forever and that's it, if not people will say about your quick change of heart.

Guy = can like 1 million girls as long as you don't do anything, your name is still nice.

Why can't girls be like guys.

It's really very hurting to know that.. those people you love with all of your heart are breaking your heart one after another

I'm very depress that I'm ruining my artwork each time I enter the art room.

"Must you really be me to understand me" ..hmm true.

Random

2008-09-01T03:07:00.000-07:00

I randomly deleted the whole template for latenightkiss and, now I'm back to kawaranadesiko.

That's so lame, I should have kept the skin =.=

Yesterday went to baybeats with holidays and nic's ahem, fajeli, shaik, haikel and haikel's couz.

Sry flinz for being such an asshole ytd teehee.

This is not a private blog. Lol. Although it looks like one lol.

Wait blogs........ are not private in the first place. If I chose to blog, I should have known that nothing can be kept private. Anyways I have nothing to hide so yeah.

Kay will update some other time.

Bye.

2008-03-20T07:38:00.000-07:00

Hi, if you came back to Kawaranadesiko..
You're SMART.
I changed my link from resonating-light to :
LateNightKiss
See you there, bye ;)

New Blog Link Again.

2008-02-15T08:39:00.000-08:00

YES.
I've changed my blog link again.
Don't bother to relink :)

It's :
http://Resonating-Light.blogspot.com

Changed link.

2007-05-19T20:44:00.000-07:00

yeah i changed my link.It's kinda obvious anyways. http://hellojerk.blogspot.com is formed becos of SHADOWS/JABS influence.ohwells since Madeline hav changed it.. so i tink thr is a no need for this URL. i still love http://kawaranadesiko.blogspot.com more. :D Don't have to relink or link or wadever becos thr's nth interesting in my blog. ya but still if u all feel like doing so, its still up to you and not up to me to decide. Have fun choosing. :)
GOODBYE HELLOJERK, HELLO KAWARANADESIKO.
sorry , cn't link you thr becos i'm currently using Edgar's laptop and somehow this laptop doesn't seem to like HTML or rather blogger doesn't like HTML when i'm using his laptop. And thr's no way i cn [b] or [i] or [u] my posts using this laptop. ohwells. nvm :D i'm boreddddddddd now, and i'm not going to blog here anyways ;p so nw i'm typing crap, love it or hate it i don't care. GOODBYE BECOS, i've decided to crap before i leave since i'm so blooooooody bored.
I am bored.I'm bored that's why i'm here. I'm here becos i'm bored. I love kawaranadesiko. I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE kawaranadesiko. Haicdwei Smi Himalo :D goooooooooooooooodbye ;p

i'm glad tat ure fine now.

2007-04-27T01:15:00.000-07:00

& i rlly still love you.
no more substitude ..
no more nothing.
i like tat feeling.
it feel so real. :)
HelloJerk

new link :x

2007-04-19T21:00:00.000-07:00

i love Kawaranadesiko..
so this link will be MINE forever.
maybe ..
anyways ,
new link :
HelloJerk
Hello - slut , ass , bitch , & jerk :D
loves SHADOWS.
& loves my kawaranadesiko too .. :)
ilovemyself :)